Brut Rose

It is weird, but after a week at my parents' home, I am having this weird adjustment issue being home. Jacob is having it as well. I miss them, which I didn't expect. Not sure why this is the case, but maybe it is just that time of year. Maybe I am more human than I thought.


***************************


We still don't know who might be coming over tonight to drink champagne with us. Neither of us seem particularly phased by this.


***************************


I am tempted to post a list of the things I am thankful for in 2006, but I will spare you all such pain. Much better lists are floating around out there.


***************************


Last night, there was a huge ring, a mandorla, around the moon. It looked like something from the Sci-Fi channel. It was incredible. It looked like one of those explosions that are supposed to be nuclear but caught in a still on film. It really was unreal.


***************************


The ring of light around the moon last night was not ghostly. It was white and bright, hazy but with enough quantity to have depth and weight. Light is interesting this way. You don't really see it but the particles it hits. Conundrum that isn't really a conundrum: light being both wave and particle.


***************************


A blogger I happened to publish in NER this year has a poem that was picked up by Best American Poetry for next year. More on this later.


***************************


Twice in the past month, someone has told me I should just start my own poetry journal. I wish it were that easy to do. I know it isn't. I know people who have done it.


***************************


Clue: Billecart-Salmon Brut Rose


***************************

Back in One Piece

We made it back. What a year this has been. Got married. Started a new medical practice. Moved. And yet, despite the craziness at times, this was one of the best years I have ever had. I know. I should shut the hell up now.


***************************


Here at the Muse, we are about to celebrate our two year blogoversary. Jan 1st marks two years.


***************************


New Year's Eve is a weird holiday. It always has been.


***************************


Clue: Angst


***************************

Jingoism at Its Best

This week has been a little crazy. We ran off to Tampa on Wednesday to ride roller coasters at Busch Gardens. Let me just say, it was the first time in my life I was scared away from a coaster. They have a newish coaster there named SheikRa. It has two, count them, two 90 degree straight down drops, the first one the equivalent of a fifteen story building. I watched this coaster several times and decided there was no way in hell I was getting on it. Now, this is a weird thing because I have never backed down from a coaster in my life, but this coaster perched you over the edge looking straight down for almost a minute before letting the coaster drop. I just couldn't handle the idea of this at all. I must be getting old.



***************************


Jacob and I endured the Shamu Show at Sea World yesterday. I say endured because at the start was a war-mongering video about the great US Military, no doubt to encourage young folk to join the military. How does an institution devoted to conservation also support the Military. Oh, I forgot, the institution, Sea World, is owned by Anheuser-Busch.


***************************


Today, dominoes with the Dad, discussions of Dave Brubeck's "Take Five," listening to Ace Cannon, and maybe some hot tub time. In other words, today is chill out day before heading home.


***************************


I guess I need to sit down sometime soon and figure out if I have poems to send out or not. I used to be very good at submissions, etc. Now, I really suck at it. And you would think as someone who reads submissions that I would have a hard time forgetting I have to submit work, too. But there you have it. I am a submissions moron. I have no idea right now where my work is. What I do know is that my work cannot be out at more than one or two places. I don't have that many finished poems.


***************************


Clue: Blue Mountain


***************************

Status post Christmas

Christmas was spectacular. The best part was seeing our nephew's eyes light up at the sight of a bike next to the Christmas tree.


***************************


Tomorrow, we are driving to Tampa to go ride a mess of roller coasters at Busch Gardens. I am a total sucker for insane roller coasters. And yes, Jacob is telling the truth: on roller coasters, I scream like a little girl.


***************************


The week is flying by. Before we know it, we'll be flying back to SF.


***************************


Jacob's gifts (besides the Piano he got early) were mother of pearl and lapis cufflinks and an American Express Platinum Card. Lord help me now.


***************************


Congratulations to Jordan and Ali!


***************************


There were tornados yesterday in a nearby county. The sky was dark and grim, the air still, the rain drifting sideways.


***************************


Clue: TiVo!


***************************

From the Land of Gators and Disney

We made it to Florida safely, despite the most turbulence we have ever experienced on a plane. I mean, can we say roller coaster like drops!

We are off to Disney today because our 2.5 year old and Jacob have demanded it. They are exactly alike! They are Disney whores.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Our Winner for 2006

And so, the Caption off results are in. You all voted, and the winner of the Year End Caption Contest Showdown is none other than Aaron Smith. Aaron should email me when he has a chance so we can arrange delivery of his $100 American Express gift card.

Some have asked why did we do this whole contest. Well, Jacob and I thought it was great fun. We are always amazed at the captions folks come up with during the year. And what better mindless thing than this for the end of the year Holiday time.


***************************


And now, we reveal the mystery judges.

Mystery Judge #1 was none other than Eduardo C. Corral.

And Mystery Judge #2 was our very own Paul Guest.

Jacob and I thank them duly for wielding the hatchets when they did.


***************************


And to all the winners of the caption contest throughout this past year, thank you for making us smile. And most of all, thank you to all of you who visit to pen your own captions and, during this past week, to vote. Happy Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you.


***************************


Jacob and I fly off to Florida in a couple of hours. I am sure I will be checking in with you all during this next week.


***************************


Clue: Amex


***************************

NER info

I totally forgot to let people know the NER website was updated for the Fall issue. Oh well. Sorry. Anyway, the NER website has been updated. You can check out the new table of contents, read poems by Carl Phillips, Susan Wood, and Hayes Davis. You can even order NER (and use this discount code "SPCNER" to save even more--you get 4 issues for only $20 by using the code).

Slug

Today feels like it is endless. When I leave the hospital this evening, I have to head home, pack, head to the airport with Jacob, and then fly to Florida. I am dreading the whole overnight flying thing. Yuck. I just never sleep on the plane. I may have to slug down something like 10 gins and tonics to knock myself out. And I don't know where my noise-canceling headphones are anymore.


********************


A week in Florida may sound like a fabulous time to some...


********************


Despite the warnings from various poet-bloggers, we will (I am sure) be going to Disney at least once while we are there.


********************


No calls. No pages. No hospital. No queries about submissions. Nothing related to work. I may read. I may sit in the hot tub.


********************


Clue: Stars


********************

Final Round of the Caption Contest Showdown

And here we are. After days of voting and eliminations, we have reached the final round. The final two contestants have each submitted a caption for the following photo. And all that you, our fabulous readers, need to do is vote on whether you think Aaron or Kelly has the better caption. The person with the most votes will win the Amex $100 gift card (and serious bragging rights). As before, vote by using the comment box. If you have no access to the box, send me an email. Emails cannot be anonymous. And do not just send emails to vote for your friend unless you have read the captions here. We will be checking DNS signatures and voiding email votes from people who have not visited this site to look at the captions before voting. So, here is the photo and the caption off captions:




"After 12 grueling hours, Kyle only had one place left to wax."

--Aaron Smith


"Look, Mom -- a shadow puppet!"

--Kelly


***************************


Voting closes around 5-6pm Pacific Time.


***************************

Results of Round 3

Jacob and I are sad to report that Shanna Compton was eliminated today in Round 3. This is starting to seem a lot like American Idol. Shanna won 4 of this past year's caption contests. We both kind of assumed she would make it to the final two, to the Caption Off, so to speak. But alas, you all voted, and Shanna is gone. And so, tune in tomorrow for the Final Round, the Caption Off, where Aaron and Kelly will have to caption the following photo:





***************************


Voting will open tomorrow morning. Aaron and Kelly's captions will be posted then. And please remember to pick the best caption. Vote for the caption, not the person, if you can.


***************************

Missing In Action

Strange day at work. Lots of people not showing up for their follow-ups. I guess the Holidays are essentially here. People forget appointments and stuff.


*******************


The Caption Contest continues. This is the last round using the photos and captions we have gotten to know so well over the past few days. The two who advance after today will have to submit a caption for the same photo, a new photo, in the Caption off. You will all vote, and someone will walk away with a $100 Amex gift card. See Round 3 below to vote, if you haven't already.


*******************


Meeting today with the lawyers. Why is it that no matter why I meet with them there is always a sense of dread?


*******************


Clue: The Yew Tree


*******************

Caption Contest Showdown Round #3

So, this is it. The two who make it past this round will have to play in the caption off final round where you all will select the winner. Rules are the same as before. Vote using the comment box. If you have no access to the comment box, then email me. No anonymous emails accepted. Vote for Aaron #7, Shanna #8, or Kelly #11. You may only vote once. Remember, only the two who make it to the next round have a chance of winning the $100 American Express gift card. And the contestants are:



Contestant #7



"Mr. September from the Naughty Republicans Congressional Page Boys Calendar 2006"

--Aaron Smith


********************


Contestant #8



"No, guys, come on! That doesn't even spell anything. Once again from the top: Y-M-C-A . . . and you, Ken, just be an exclamation point or something."

--Shanna Compton



********************


Contestant #11



"I never dreamed being a White House intern would involve such unspeakable depravity. You pray, and I'll watch for rescuers."


********************


Now, your vote is pivotal. The difference between advancing to the final round or not could come down to a single vote.


********************

Hatchet Job #2

Mystery Judge #2 has eliminated Shanna #1 and Shanna #3. That leaves only Shanna #8 in the mix. We will announce who Mystery Judge #2 is after the contest is over and done with. Round Three opens tomorrow. The top two from that will go forward to the Caption Off round.

Results of Round 2

Well, the second round is over. And sadly, or not so sadly, two contestants have been eliminated. And... another three are in jeopardy. We have solicited, once again, the help of a fellow blogger to play the role of hatchet person. Mystery Judge #2 will eliminate two of the three entries in jeopardy. So, here are the results:

First Place: Aaron #7
Second Place: Kelly #11
Third Place: No one


Now in Jeopardy:

Shanna #1
Shanna #8
Shanna #3


Eliminated:

Aaron #9
John #6


In essence, because of the way the voting turned out, two of Shanna's entries are going, but which ones will go? Tune in. Round 3 will be our last round of voting on these entries. The Final Round will involve a Caption off where contestants will have to wield their wit to produce the better caption and possibly win the contest overall. I know Aaron is already practicing. And well, Shanna probably doesn't need to practice. Kelly is the unknown entity here. Who will walk away the champ?


***************************


Shanna, Aaron, and Kelly should keep an eye out for an email from me.


***************************

Lies and Garbage

Jacob and I are still obsessively watching LOST. We are 5 or so episodes into the 2nd season. I wonder how long they can lead the viewers along all the while revealing and hiding things.


***************************


Found a very funny note from an old teacher this morning chastising poets for not taking good notes, for not researching, for not being accurate. I laughed out loud when I read it.


***************************


Why do writers lie in their cover letters? I mean, they not only lie but they lie like dogs. Not all of them. Not even the majority of them. But the ones that do just about kill me. It is never a good idea to lie about something like having work in The New Yorker and POETRY. These can be checked in less than a minute. And even if your lie gets your work past the screeners and into the hands of the poetry editor, s/he will know almost immediately that you are lying. So weird.


***************************


I am almost done with Christmas shopping. Almost. Still need to pick up some toys and stuff for the youngest nephew, but I may just do it in Florida last minute. The more you have to pack, the more horrendous the travel.


***************************


I have no lists for 2006. I suppose I could think on this and generate one, but I am lazy. For now, the big excitement here is the Caption Contest Showdown.


***************************


Yes, I know. This is not a very literary blog. It is just a blog. It is fun for me and Jacob. Not much else drives it, I am afraid. And no, no one emailed me to complain this time. Just saying...


***************************


Clue: Spirulina


***************************

Caption Contest Showdown Round #2

The First Round of the Caption Contest Smackdown is over, and 4 entries have been eliminated. Three were eliminated by poor voting on the part of our readers, and one was eliminated by Mystery Judge #1. And so, a new round of voting begins now. As with Round 1, you may vote for one of the following entries. You may vote only once using the comment box. If you don't have a blogger account and cannot vote using the comment box, you can email me. Your vote will be posted to the comment box so it cannot be anonymous. Voting closes for Round 2 at the end of the day, so get your votes in early. Still up for grabs is a $100 American Express Gift Card. Contestants should begin getting prepared for the Caption Off Round. More details coming soon. And no, Aaron, nudity will not be involved! So, which contest entries are left in the game? See below:



Contestant #1



"I'm downstairs. I forgot my keys!"

--Shanna Compton


********************


Contestant #3



"Don't be rude. Look at the potted palm when you're speaking to it."

--Shanna Compton


********************


Contestant #6



"Minutes later the front desk manager decided to be more specific in the future when notifying guests that there is a package waiting for them downstairs."

--John Gallaher


********************


Contestant #7



"Mr. September from the Naughty Republicans Congressional Page Boys Calendar 2006"

--Aaron Smith


********************


Contestant #8



"No, guys, come on! That doesn't even spell anything. Once again from the top: Y-M-C-A . . . and you, Ken, just be an exclamation point or something."

--Shanna Compton


********************


Contestant #9



"Mirror, mirror on the truck, who's the stud they want to... "

--Aaron Smith


********************


Contestant #11



"I never dreamed being a White House intern would involve such unspeakable depravity. You pray, and I'll watch for rescuers."

--Kelly


********************


Vote as follows: Aaron #9 or Shanna #1 or John #6, etc.


********************

Hatchet Job #1

Mystery Judge #1 has reviewed the contestants in jeopardy. The Mystery judge has eliminated James Hall #10. And so, sadly, the contest moves on with one less contestant. Round 2 opens shortly.

Results of Round 1

Well, it has come to that time. The votes are in and tallied. You all voted, and here are the results:

First Place: Kelly #11
Second Place: Aaron #7
Third Place: Shanna #1, Shanna #8, Aaron #9

Eliminated from the Game:

Shanna #2
Anne #4
Ginger #5


Now, in jeopardy:

Shanna #3
John Gallaher #6
James #10


What, you ask, does "in jeopardy" mean? Mystery judge #1 (hatchet person) will eliminate one of the three in jeopardy shortly. Mystery judge #1 is a blogger and will be announced after the contest is over. Stay tuned for the hatchet elimination and for the next round. That $100 Amex gift card is still up for grabs.

Janus

Jordan is joining the NBCC. He poses a very good question. I wonder just how many members of the NBCC review poetry.


********************


Something weird happens at the end of the year. Patients become both nicer, more appreciative and some become ultra mean. I guess this is true of all people and not just patients. I am just around patients all day. There is something about the end of the year. It stirs up list-making tendencies and recall-oriented thinking. It also conjures up hurt and regret. God help us all to make it safely to the month of two-faced Janus, that unfortunate god made to look forward and backward at the same time.


********************


Frost and ice all over everything this morning. Black ice on 280 with traffic freaking out. Cold as hell. I always loved that expression: Cold as Hell. Love it.


********************


The Year End Caption Contest Showdown/Blowout/Smackdown is under way. I am curious to see who gets eliminated after the first round. At this point, a whole mess of contestants will be eliminated shortly. So, if you like any of those captions, give them a shout.


********************


Charlie gives us a visual statement of Poetics.


********************


Clue: Comida Mexicana


********************

Caption Contest Showdown Round #1

The time has come. Welcome to the Caption Contest Year End Showdown. At the end of this Showdown, one of our contestants will walk away with a $100 gift card. This is no silly blog game, people! Well, okay, it is kind of silly, but hey. Jacob and I aren't amused often, so humor us. So, yes, the winner will receive a $100 gift card. Shanna Compton has 4 entries, Aaron Smith has 2 entries, and the rest of the contestants have a single entry. Entries are based on how many caption contests won this year. So, how does round one work? Anyone can visit this site and vote for the contestant they think had the best caption. The scoring schema will unfold as we continue. You may only vote once in this round. To vote, just use the comment box. No backchanneling (that always sounds dirty!) allowed. Votes must be cast in the public sphere to avoid the appearance of cheating. Contestants can vote for themselves and/or solicit votes. But like everyone else, they can only vote once.

To vote: put the following in a comment box message:

Contestant name and the contestant number, ie:

James Hall #10 / or / Shanna Compton #3 / or / Anne Haines #4 etc.

Since Shanna and Aaron have multiple entries, we need the number. Numbers are next to each of the entries. So, let the voting begin.


********************



**NEW** CLARIFICATION: The winner of the entire Contest gets the $100 gift card, not the winner of THIS round. Surprises abound for our contestants in the next rounds of play. Well, surprises abound for the ones who make it to the next round.

In Preparation for the Caption Contest Showdown

The End of the Year Caption Contest Showdown is about to begin. And so, in preparation, let us look back over the contest winners this year. Shanna Compton weighs in with 4 wins (4 entries) and Aaron Smith weighs in with 2. But that doesn't put any of our other contestants at a disadvantage. Any of the winners below could take the top prize. So, peruse the entries below. Jacob and I will be opening round one soon enough, and in round one, you (our trusty audience) will play the primary role. So stay tuned.


********************



Contestant #1



"I'm downstairs. I forgot my keys!"

--Shanna Compton


********************


Contestant #2




"Am I zestfully clean yet?"

--Shanna Compton


********************


Contestant #3



"Don't be rude. Look at the potted palm when you're speaking to it."

--Shanna Compton


********************


Contestant #4



"Barry, Robin, and Maurice pray for the soul of the heretofore-undocumented, Lost Bee Gee."

--Anne Haines


********************


Contestant #5



"Günther had had enough! If Raimundo could not remember to wax he would have to take matters into his own hands..."

--Ginger Heatter


********************


Contestant #6



"Minutes later the front desk manager decided to be more specific in the future when notifying guests that there is a package waiting for them downstairs."

--John Gallaher


********************


Contestant #7



"Mr. September from the Naughty Republicans Congressional Page Boys Calendar 2006"

--Aaron Smith


********************


Contestant #8



"No, guys, come on! That doesn't even spell anything. Once again from the top: Y-M-C-A . . . and you, Ken, just be an exclamation point or something."

--Shanna Compton"


********************


Contestant #9



"Mirror, mirror on the truck, who's the stud they want to... "

--Aaron Smith


********************


Contestant #10



"Will "Work It, Girl!" for Food."

--James Hall


********************


Contestant #11



"I never dreamed being a White House intern would involve such unspeakable depravity. You pray, and I'll watch for rescuers."

--Kelly Madigan Erlandson

Stupor

This past weekend was the first weekend since July that I was home and didn't have specific work to do. It was, therefore, a good and relaxing weekend. It reminded me why I have to learn to say "No" more often.


***************************


Still having a hard time with the fact come Friday evening we are flying off to Florida. I am assuming it won't be as cold there as it is here.


***************************


I don't have much to say this morning. In a stupor. All I want to do is go back to bed.


***************************


Clue: Three in one cake!


***************************

Prison Tan and a Shiv

We all had a great time here last night for Lasagnafest 2006. As you can see, some of us were really hungry. Sadly, there was no poker to be had. There was, however, a lot of drinking and revelry.


***************************


Just found a copy of Maggie Dietz last book in my studio. I had no idea I ever had it!


***************************


Jacob and I are preparing for the End of the Year Caption Contest Blow-out. We have already decided there will be several rounds of play for everyone. And, of course, there will be surprises. Yes, I know, we obviously live dull lives to get this excited. We do know the prize will be pretty darned good, likely a $100 gift certificate. So, all of you winners of caption contests this year, prepare to compete. Prepare for the audience here at The Muse to begin advancing and eliminating you in the days to come. John Gallaher already has a prison tan and a shiv. He is ready and shouts: "Bring it!"


***************************


Clue: Echo and Narcissus


***************************

Famously Dry

What do you get after adding together three poets, two composers, an actor, and a dancer with a lot of lasagna, champagne, and a famously dry cabernet? Of course, Poker!


***************************


Last night, Jacob and GD and I went out to our favorite French bistro, Chapeaux!, for dinner. We sat around 9:30pm. We left around midnight. Dear God, French food remains the closest thing to heaven sometimes. I slept like the dead. The melted Brie potato leak dauphin alone was like tasting heaven, right down to the red wine reduction and the micro greens.


***************************


The more I think about Swiggler's list (see below), the more I think these men who took the survey weren't really straight. I mean, I would expect the men straight men would want "to bone" to be somewhat more feminine, more pretty. I mean, I guess Orlando Bloom can look feminine and pretty, but Lenny Kravitz? The desire to bone Lenny Kravitz seems very much a gay man thing to me. Oh well. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a joke. The folks at Swiggler are notorious for that.


***************************


Before the lasagna fest this afternoon/evening, I need to get some reading done. Also need to do some tinkering on that last poem I drafted. I think I am getting close to finishing. Not sure.


***************************


My friend and MFA classmate, David Caplan, has a new book out. I know how hard he has worked on this book and that it is bound to be a good book. So, for you folks who teach poetry and are always lamenting the fact there is no good text for examining form, this may well be what you have been waiting for (sorry to end on a preposition, but...)


***************************


Oh Boris. Oh Natasha! Must get moose and Nobel.


***************************


Clue: Kir Royale


***************************

What the...!

Um, well, truth is stranger than fiction. According to this survey administered to straight men (supposedly), here is the list of famous folk straight men would be "willing to bone". Obviously, I can't verify this since I am not a straight man, but I seriously would love to know how this survey was conducted.









Top Ten Male Celebrities Straight Men Would Be Willing to Bone


1. Brad Pitt
2. Matthew McConaughey
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Daniel Craig
5. Mario Lopez
6. Nick Lachey
7. Lenny Kravitz
8. Rob Thomas
9. Jude Law
10. Viggo Mortensen


(from Swiggler)

Little Ham of Rage

In my emailbox yesterday evening, a press release from the Academy of American Poets. They have elected Lyn Hejinian, Sharon Olds, and Carl Phillips to the positions of Chancellors of the Academy.


***************************


The end of the Year is pure madness. Why is that? And why does this year seem especially bad. Anyway, I suspect much has to do with the fact it is the first end of the year for me in my own practice, and I am having to do a lot of year end things for the first time. Things seem to be going okay, but it is a little stressful. Thank God for Accountants and Lawyers. Never thought I would see the day I would be saying such a thing!


***************************


In the mail yesterday, oddly enough, was the November 2006 issue of POETRY. What the...


***************************


This must be the year of losing things. One of my Glenn Miller discs is not in the case and I have no idea where it is. I know I have a bad habit of putting CDs into the wrong cases, so this is most definitely my own damned fault.


***************************


Yes, I like Glenn Miller.


***************************


Today is the deadline for application to the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. Jacob's scores are printed, bound, as well as stored in mp3 form on a CD. He mailed them off a couple of days ago and he sent in the formal application last night. The application was completely electronic, done on-line, which was kind of cool and kind of weird. I am glad the application is over.


***************************


Clue: Lasagna


***************************

In the Flesh, so to speak

I got a very exciting telephone call last night from Martha Rhodes at Four Way Books. she was holding the first printed copy of my book in her hands. To quote her: "It is GOR-geous!" I am so excited. And just this morning I found this on line. As many of you know, I have had such a time with the book (Zoo Press fiasco) that it has been hard for me to believe the book would ever see print. But now, it actually exists. I can't wait to get an advance copy. Too excited for words.

Oh, the Anticipation

After making it all the way into the jury box yesterday, I was excused. I won't go into why I was excused, but I was excused from serving on the case. It was long, dull, and pretty bizarre. And why is it people going to jury duty forget to shower?


***************************


My head is still empty of poetry. By this, I mean my own. A nice space after a year of good output for me. It is almost restful, relaxing. Reading here and there, but busy. Got the new Ploughshares edited by Rosanna Warren but have yet to read any of it.


***************************


Have you ever dreamed of seeing the likes of John Gallaher, Ginger Heatter, Aaron Smith, Shanna Compton, and others in the ring together for a match of furious mud-wrestling? Think Survivor. Think America's Next Top Model. The Caption Contest Blow-out is coming. And all of you who visit the Muse will play a part (if you want to).


***************************


I am so wearing my new Green Lantern t-shirt this weekend.


***************************


Clue: A very "Merry Christmas," Hawaii-style


***************************

God and Religion

I am sitting in a depressing room in the courthouse as part of my civic duty. Yup, I got called for jury duty. Who knows how long I will be sitting here waiting just to find out if they want to interview me or not.


***************************


Over the past 2 days, I screened 100 first book mss. What did I learn?

1. people seem to love the word "ochre"
2. the simple, present-tense sentence is still the choice of most poets out there
3. Abortion is a fairly common topic for poems (I saw no less than 20)
4. a good story does not always make for a good poem
5. many seem capable putting together a 90+ page ms. without difficulty
6. Rothko is making a comeback
7. most poets are like me in that they come up with god-awful titles for their mss. (I always have to have friends guide me to a better title)
8. a lot of people must visit Italy (I mean A LOT)
9. many poets use spell check but don't check the spell chack changes!
10. God and religion is everywhere in these mss.


***************************


Jacob should have the winner of Caption Contest #11 this afternoon/evening.


***************************


Clue: Epistolary


***************************

Family Values

The NEA has finally posted its List of Poetry Fellows for 2007. 16 of the poets on the list are NER contributors! Congratulations all of you. You rock.


********************


And seriously, what is up with Colorado? First, Ted Haggard, now Paul Barnes. I mean, is Colorado the Land of Religious Hypocrisy or what?


********************


I was being neurotic (surprise) this morning and emailed MacDowell. I sent my application in by FEDEX and when I checked the tracking all it said was "Left Outside." Well, that made me nervous, so I emailed them. They emailed back immediately to say they had gotten the application and even got my reference letter already. So, I have stopped panicking. What can I say? I really am neurotic. I don't just play one on TV.


********************


Jacob and I have already started planning the end of year Caption Contest Throwdown. It will be a bloodbath!


********************


Clue: Psycho Killer...


********************

Current Place

Jacob is getting close to selecting the winner of caption contest #11. If you haven't entered yet, now would be the time. This is the last regular caption contest for the year. All that's left after this is the year-end blowout where we will pit all of the year's winners against each other for a really grand prize! So, what are you waiting on? Don't you want to be in that elite group of winners who get entered for the year-end grand prize? Anyway, until Jacob selects a winner, entries are still welcome below.


***************************


Another bitch of a day ahead of me here. I didn't leave work last night until after 8pm. I am hoping to God that isn't what today turns into.


***************************


Oh the French! They have up and made Ferlinghetti a Commander.


***************************


Why is this one time I do not trust FEDEX?


***************************


Last year, at this time, we were moving into our current place. Weird.


***************************


Clue: X + Y = X * Y / X - (Y + X)


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Confirmed

I knew it. I knew this day was going to be bad, unspeakably bad. I still have 2-3 more hours here at the hospital. I am starting to see stars. I have been here working almost non-stop since 7:30 AM. Anyway, I am going in search of candy in a minute; there has to be some candy around here in the dept. to eat because it is the Holiday Season. I am beyond starving; I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch today. I think I need the sugar now.

The Equation

Busy day ahead of me. I know because before I left on Friday I had to add on two additional new patient consults on patients who need to be seen more urgently. So, I know today will be a tough day. I can only hope it is one of those days where things flow smoothly from one to the other. That would be a very welcome thing today. Not to mention, I am tired.


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A friend of mine surprised me on Friday when I opened a package and found a Green Lantern t-shirt. It actually made the day a better one. I was quite surprised having looked for years for such a t-shirt and not finding one.


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A poet who hadn't sent to NER in years surprised me in a different way yesterday. I sat down and read about 320 poems yesterday. This poet was in among the bunch. His poems just about gave me a heart attack. They were so freakin' good. And then I sat there wondering how is it some poets send every six years and some send every 2 months. And why is it the ones who send every two months are always worse than the ones who send less frequently. Surely there must be some law or equation for this akin to those fantastic laws and equations from Physics.


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Bought more things for Christmas on-line over the weekend. I swear I buy more things on line each year. At some time in the future, I may buy everything on-line. Whatever to the whole slogging downtown to shop business.


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Thom Gunn sold me a book last night in a dream. It was weird because this clerk in a bookstore looked like Thom but said his name was Bill. His name tag said "Bill."


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Clue: Verlaine


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Hearts

(from Thomas Hawk's Digital Connection)

It is definitely Winter now in San Francisco. Rain, rain, and more rain. Slightly depressing. I came home from Japantown yesterday and it was already raining. That was around 4pm. It hasn't stopped raining since then.


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Ate Mexican food with our friend Ron last night. Then we sat around playing Hearts like little old ladies.


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It is suddenly apparent to me that Christmas is not that far away and I need to buy presents. I suspect I will be buying more stuff on line this year because I don't have a ton of time to go searching all over the place for stuff.


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The caption contest continues on. Some good captions so far for contest #11 below.


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Buried deep in a file cabinet are the poems I wrote when I thought I was going to be America's next stud-poet. I pictured myself perched on a high stool wearing a raggy old sweatshirt and whipping my female fans into a quieter, more poetic form of Beatlemania with the gorgeousness of my verse.


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Okay, need to get started on work. Have much to read today.


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Clue: Cypress


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Caption Contest #11

Yup, it is that time again. It is time for Caption Contest #11. This will be the last one of the year, so you will have to wait until the new year for more captions than you can shake a stick at (no pun intended). As always, the rules are as follows: 1. you can enter as many times as you want; 2. Jacob selects the winner; 3. Winner may or may not win a monetary prize (decided before the photo is posted). So, here we go:





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Stay tuned for the End of the Year Caption blowout where we ask you, the loyal and not so loyal visitors to The Muse to vote on the best caption of the year. As it stands, Shanna Compton will have the highest chance of winning because she has already won four entries by winning four contests. More information soon!


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Naughty and Cryptic

William Logan's latest verse chronicle is on-line. He examines Ammons, Franz Wright, Gluck, and others.


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Okay, this may sound naive, but what exactly is the point of poetry reviews/criticism? Is it primarily for the reviewer, a kind of way to think out loud? Is it for the reading public? What is the point? I am seriously asking this because I keep reading review after review , many of which are meaningless to me. I guess I just prefer reading the books myself and formulating my own decisions.


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The master of cryptic statement returns.


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Santa (?) wants to know if you have been naughty or nice!


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Clue: What he said...


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Mighty Aphrodite

With the year drawing to a close quickly, I am suddenly busy with year-end financial stuff for the practice. A friend recently asked me if I love this stuff. Well, no, but it comes with the territory. It comes with owning a business. So, crunching numbers ends up being a part of the job. Processing payroll and taxes. Yesss!


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I am happy to report no other fish have died since Aphrodite died just after Thanksgiving. At first I was worried there was something in the tank. But, as it turned out, it was just Aphrodite. She just didn't look right before we left for Thanksgiving. The rest of the fish look great. Echo is getting big. She is almost twice the size of Narcissus now, even though they were almost the same size when we got them. Orfeo and Eurydice look well, and they remain about the same size.


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Only in this household would the fish have names like these.


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I dreamt last night that I was with Jacob in a grocery store and was trying to calm down a screaming kid. The most terrifying part of the dream? The realization at one point that the kid was ours!


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Why is it US Mail is so bad at losing things? I have never sent anything by FEDEX that didn't get there when they said it would. But US Mail? Even Priority Mail gets lost!


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And what were doing here at The Muse last year at this time? Yup, we were looking for an assistant. Now I am wondering what happened with that. I mean, where is my assistant? It must be my neurotic behavior why the position was never filled.


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Clue: Arrows, God...


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Quickies

Spent virtually the entire day filling out applications, printing up new resumes, selecting and printing up packets of 6 to 10 poems, etc. Why must all applications for these kinds of things be so painful? I hope to God MacDowell and Yaddo have wireless internet or some kind of internet connection.


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I finally bought plane tickets for me and Jacob to fly to Atlanta come late February.


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Wouldn't you know after I cursed out Poets and Writers magazine for not arriving and for sending me repeat invoices that the Nov/Dec issue arrived.


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Is it time for another caption contest yet?


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Clue: Hamachi


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The Joy and Pain

It was slightly painful, but I contacted my rare book dealer (who reminds me a little bit of a gun runner in Istanbul). He was able to "find me" a first edition, untouched cloth edition of Brigit Pegeen Kelly's To the Place of Trumpets. The pain was not in the finding but in the price. But I have to have this book. I love it, admire it, need to have it in the house. It is like my need to have Harmonium, Lunch Poems, Praise, and a handful of other books. I must have them. They bring me a strange sensation some would call joy. I just have to look at them and I feel this sensation. So, it was painful to fork up the money, but how can I not have this book? I know some will think this crazy, but each day I knew the book wasn't there made me more crazy. I have a very good idea where that book is, and so I know I will never get it back. I should have known even as a child that I would end up being a writer. I have always been obsessed with reading and owning books. Even at age 10, I could tell you which books I had, where they were on my shelves, who wrote them, what was in them. I could even tell you the typeface they used, when the book was published, who published it, etc. I was a freak. Just recently, I tried to explain to someone that I am not really an eccentric man. Stuff like this did not help my argument.

Bandaged

I am sure some of you will just geek out when you see this little sneak peek of the new Harry Potter movie. (Thanks, ODLP)


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Sometimes I just wish there were ways to avoid the overnight flight to the East Coast.


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I am still tinkering with my last poem. I even flip-flopped some parts in it. But it is still not done. And I cannot really get it out of my mind. My mind keeps returning to it the way a hand returns to a bandaged wound at night to check the bandages are still there.


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More talk in the news of Hillary Clinton and whether or not she is electable. Well, she is not electable. The Dems need to not eff this up this time!


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Clue: The root of escapade


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Gift Ideas for Picky Writers

Well, it is that time again. And what do you get that writer in your life for the Holidays? Well, personally, I think you should get that writer a subscription to NER. I mean, it isn't like I am biased or anything. And hell, I will even give you a special code to use on our on-line order form so you can get the subscription for $20 for a year (that is 4 issues for $20!) instead of $25. Hell, get yourself a subscription. Just head over to the NER on-line order form, fill it out, and in the space for special discount codes type

SPCNER

Yup, it is that simple. $5 savings, just like that.

This Phantom Touch

Ran with GD to City Lights Bookstore yesterday afternoon. Finally found Mark Richards' book of short stories that has his story "The Birds for Christmas" in it. I had his other book of stories and his novel, Fishboy, but had never been able to find this collection. We ended up having a drink at Vesuvio and then heading down to Union Square.


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I am really effing pissed off with Poets and Writers magazine. I renewed my subscription on line in August, and I know they charged my Amex card $19.95. Despite this, I keep getting an invoice in the mail saying past due, and they haven't sent me the November/December issue. Whatever.


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My copy of Brigit Pegeen Kelly's first book is missing. I think I knew this about a year and a half ago, but I forgot and was reminded over the weekend when I went to the shelves to look for it. This makes me sad. It took me a long time to get that book, and now it is gone. It has been long out of print. Well, time to add it to the top of the list. Time to start searching again.


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Almost end of the year tax time for the practice/corporation. Time to pay the accountants even more than we already pay them each month!


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--ERASED--


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Clue: Bloomin' Onion


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With Santa Hat On

Survived the Holiday Party last night. Got up this morning and did a little work. Went to the Japanese Hot Springs. Now preparing for dinner, likely Mexican food, with GD, Ron and Kevin. I will not be drinking margaritas.


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Trying to get myself to get info on Yaddo and MacDowell. Have I actually gotten the info yet? No. I am procrastinating. Nothing new.


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Christmas stuff is everywhere now. Even the parking garage wand at the exit was covered in lights.


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What do you want for Christmas? Go ahead. Tell Santa CDY.


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Absolutely Unreal

Thanks to the mystery reader who sent this my way for the caption contest. But because this is an ad for Absolut, I cannot use it for the Caption Contest. Yes, we have rules here at The Muse. Anyway, doesn't mean I cannot share it with you all. Despite hating vodka, this ad makes me want to try to like it.

When Parents Need to be Shot

When your parents have high-speed wireless internet at home, TiVo, no land line, and say things like "God, Dale, you are so 1990," the world is certainly near its end! I guess we need to get TiVo.


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I hear Prince is now playing or about to start playing in vegas several nights a week to small audiences at the Rio. Is this true? I would have to go see him. He is an effing incredible performer, musician, singer.


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I had a bottle of cherry coke with lunch today. I am buzzing on sugar and caffeine.


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I have decided that from now on I will utilize assistants to help me write my poems. That way, I can write like 20,000 poems a year like some of my "friends."


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Here at The Muse, we do have some standards. No, not a lot, but some.


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Clue: Someone in Wisconsin is nursing a hurt...


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Antonio Gamoneda, Champagne, and Stars

Antonio Gamoneda won the Cervantes Award, the Spanish-speaking world's equivalent of the Nobel Prize. (see also)


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Drank champagne last night. Had dinner at a neighborhood cafe. I fall in love with San Francisco over and over again. I have a hard time believing I have lived here 8 years already.


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Tonight is the Holiday Party my medical practice partner and I are throwing for the practice. We actually catered it. We felt we really needed to say "thank you" to our staff, without whom we would be sunk.


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Kay Ryan will be blogging next week at The Poetry Foundation website. Let the crankfest begin. I still remember her AWP report published in Poetry a year or so ago. It made me think: "If you hate something, why do it? And if you do it and hate it, why write about it?" All that whining. Give me a break. There are many ways to being a poet, to living in the world as a poet. The one true thing? No one really cares, not even other poets.


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Powdered sugar in coffee because you ran out of sugar is not as good as half and half in your cereal because you ran out of milk. Just saying.


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Clue: "A couple of jiggers of moonlight, and add a star..."


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