Caption Contest Finalist Round 3

Well, it is time for Round Three for the Finalists. Once again, we have given them a photo and asked them to provide a caption in less than 24 hours. This time, there are only four Finalists left.

And here are the captions:



Shanna Compton: "When Chris snapped at Jason to stuff a sock in it, this was not quite what he had in mind."


RJ Gbson: " First rule of soccer: don't touch the balls with your hands."


Dan Kaczmarek: "When not in use, Posh Spice stores easily in David's tighty-whiteys."


Joe Massey: "Hernia: the new cologne for men."




And now, let’s hear from our guest judges:


Day of Show: Contestants are lined up on the runway, under spotlights. Voice of Heidi over loudspeaker saying, “Remember, in The Caption Contest, one day you’re in, the next day you’re out.” Theme music plays.


Heidi: (Strolls in dressed in a black and silver Kimono). Hello everybody!


Contestants: All say hi back loudly.


Heidi: As you know, Collin returned only to be eliminated again, proving that once you are out, you really are OUT. (Some contestants look positively giddy at hearing this). This week, no surprises! Let start the show, because after tonight there will only be three of you remaining (smiles evilly)

For this challenge, you were asked to write a caption for a picture of David Beckham wearing nothing but white briefs. He is scowling at us and appears to be preparing to rise from the bed. In a moment we'll look at your captions, but first I'd like to welcome our special guests. Top fashion designer Michael Kors; Nina Garcia, fashion director of Elle Magazine; and this week, Jacob Bertrand, co-founder of the Caption Contest and Fashion Consultant here at The Muse.


M. Kors: (Dressed in seersucker suit). Hi guys.

Nina: Hello. (Turns briefly to see what M. Kors is doing and then nods and smiles.)

Jacob: Hi there.


Heidi: Nina, Michael, Jacob, welcome back to the Caption Contest! Now, let's bring the captions out onto the runway.

Models enter with posters of captions in hand, and stand next to corresponding contestant. Each one reads the caption aloud.


Shanna Compton: "When Chris snapped at Jason to stuff a sock in it, this was not quite what he had in mind."


RJ Gbson: " First rule of soccer: don't touch the balls with your hands."


Dan Kaczmarek: "When not in use, Posh Spice stores easily in David's tighty-whiteys."


Joe Massey: "Hernia: the new cologne for men."


Heidi: Well. These are all a change from last week. Nina, Michael, Jacob what do you think?


M Kors: Well, let me just get this out of the way... At this point in the competition, we are looking for originality. We are looking for captions that not only show point of view but that actually take us somewhere, show us something we never expected. I realize all we see here is Becks' crotch, but the contestants should have worked harder to get a rise, um, I mean, surprise us.


Nina: Yes, these were all a bit predictable. I am somewhat disappointed.


Jacob: This was a tough challenge this week and, well, it shows.


Heidi: OK. Which captions do we like?


M Kors: I really like RJ's use of "balls" and "hands" here, but the caption was just kind of blah. This was his chance to really shine and, well, he didn't for me.


Nina: We all know Beckham plays football. I was expecting something fresher, something with a little more contemporary appeal.


Jacob: As with Dan's caption, a nice play on the fact that the photo is of David Beckham. But if we didn't know that, these captions wouldn't make a lot of sense. That said, I like this caption, though I would have preferred "Never" as opposed to "don't", as in: "Never touch the balls with your hands"


M Kors: And Joe's caption. Last week, hemorrhoids, this week hernias. Joe, we are trying to see some elegance here. And once again, you play to the rough trade of the marketplace.


Nina: It was, well, more subtle than last week's. But yes, disappointing. (She looks something between bereft and annoyed).


Jacob: I mean "Hernia" is a little graphic, not to mention kind of gross. That said, he does seem to be carrying a bit of weight, so, I like it.


M Kors: I liked Dan’s. It’s almost funny. A nice mix of stock phrases like "tightey whiteys" and the more suggestive nods we have come to expect from Dan.


Nina: I was confused by this. What does he mean by "in use." Is Posh a cleaning product? I am baffled by this.


Jacob: I like the literal reference to Posh's comments on the photo. Though from what she says, there mightn't be much room in there for her.


Heidi: What about Shanna? What did we think of Shanna's work this week?


Nina: It’s well executed. But it (places index finger to right side of nose and pauses) just didn't wow me.


M Kors: It’s clever. It’s cheeky. I like it.


Jacob: This one is my favourite. I like the fact that, as with Joe's caption, it doesn't reference David directly but still focuses attention on his naughty bits, which, admit it, you were all looking at.


M Kors: At this point, people need to step up their game. One of you is going to walk out of here with a cash prize and a lot of media attention and, well, right now I am just not seeing a clear leader of the pack. I never thought I'd say this, but I actually miss Collin!

Nina: Yes. This is supposed to be a competition.

Jacob: Good luck to all of you!


Heidi: Well. We’ve heard what the guest judges have to say. Contestants, you can leave the runway.


M Kors, Nina, Jacob: (Smiling to contestants) Thanks guys!


Contestants: All walk off. Looking desperate and afraid.


Heidi: Remember. In the Caption Contest, one day you’re in, the next day, you’re out.


*****************************


So, we have heard from our judges, but the decision about who stays and who goes remains in your hands. It is your vote that decides which three finalists continue on in the competition. Vote for the caption you think is best. And tune in later to see who will continue on...

Caption Contest Finalist Round 3

Vote, because the person with the least number of votes is OUT.

Who Stays?

Shanna Compton
RJ Gibson
Dan Kaczmarek
Joe Massey

View Results

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