Signing Off for Now

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I am in Saratoga Springs, which means I must sign off for two weeks. But enjoy the re-posts during that time. Each day will have a post from the past that various friends and readers asked me to post while I am away. And if you just miss me beyond belief and need to read my voice, you can always email me. My public email address can be found on my homepage. Ciao for now. I will be busy having affairs with ghosts!


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I am now one of Didi's men! Little did you know I could swing that way... Anyway, check out some of her other men, too.


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Clue: Grano


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Salt and Whispers

Bloodshot eyes, shaving, the mirror, hot water, thirst, fatigue, the pain around the knees after standing a long time. Images gathering in my head. I know what is coming. I know it because I have learned to recognize it. And I have listened to the same song now 14 times since yesterday afternoon. Sia's "Breathe Me." As usual, the song itself has little to do with the images, may well simply reflect some odd turning of things in the mind. Lost, confused, the razor (electric not straight blade). Safety. Harm. There are ideas I keep turning and turning, which is to say I am waiting now for the last line. I can almost hear it, the way one almost overhears a man whispering to someone else while standing in a corner.


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I am so excited to take the train I am like a child on Christmas morning. It has been so long since I have felt like that I almost feel giddy.


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What if Plath had lit the oven simply to warm her house? What if she had heard one of the children crying and turned back to pick up towels left at the base of the doors?


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Dreamt last night that as I was speaking to someone (a patient?) blood began spewing from my mouth. Not bright red blood, but the semi-digested glutinous and chunky dark blood. I fall to the floor and it just continues bursting from my mouth in powerful spurts. But I am not dying. No, not dying. I am not afraid for myself, but afraid for the patient who is seeing this. I am trying to tell this person it is okay. That I am going to be fine. And the person is crying, screaming for help. And I am trying to console, trying to calm the person down, but no words come out, just rotten chunks of blood. It is all over my shirt, my pants, the tips of my shoes. Others arrive and start screaming. I realize that blood is erupting from my skin like flames surfacing from wood. Blood is everywhere. I am transforming into a pool of blood. And finally, I hear these words leave my mouth: "I never wanted this to happen..." I woke up and turned to find Jacob. It took me a minute or so to place that I was in a hotel room, that I was not home, that he wasn't there.


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Clue: Bolero


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Morning in Manhattan

There is nothing quite like waking up in New York City. Some love Manhattan at night. I love it in the early morning when it is just coming alive. The weekend sleepiness of mornings here is something beautiful to me, especially for the city that supposedly never sleeps.


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Will spend most of my day grading. Then dinner with a friend. All quiet. Train ride tomorrow, which excites me in a perverse way. I haven't been on a train since I was a child. And I have never been on a train in the U.S.


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Thanks to all of you who emailed me with requests for re-posts while I am in Saratoga Springs. I have them all lined up and ready to go. It was a riot reading through them. So odd. But it must be one of my most loved things about this blog, that I can track myself through time and place. Even if I didn't post here what was happening, the posts bring back the days almost exactly for me, which is both wonderful and scary to me.


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Virgin America is an amazing airline. When we boarded it felt like an ultra lounge in Vegas, the bluish overhead light, the pink lights by the windows. And there was even an ambient groove playing. The stewards all wear black pants and black long sleeved shirts. The music selection on their in-flight entertainment had everything from classical to the Chemical Brothers. I listened to a Moby track titled "I Feel It," and I was immediately transported, in that way that music does so well) to 1992 and a private underground club in Gainesville named Simon's, where Moby had been a guest DJ one night. So odd that this private club in Gainesville got DJs from all over the country and the world. And cache of being allowed into Simon's, and the drugs, and the music, and the amazing dancing, and the vampire-like feeling as you left at 9:00 AM and struggled home in the hurtful sunlight.


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I love Lady Liberty. Out the window, I can see her standing on Liberty Island. Remember when they laid gold on her flames? I hated it then. But it has grown on me, and now the way those torch flames glimmer and gleam in early morning sunlight, it is striking. Change scares us, but it is sometimes the best thing ever.


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Clue: Nina Nina from Pasadena...


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Lessons About Generosity

In the O.R. today. Last day before leaving, but that makes no difference. So, I must head off to work. If anyone had told me, when I was in college, that I would ever muster the stamina for the commitment I have had to generate daily for Medicine, I would have laughed. But somehow, somewhere, during the year after year of training (nine! after college and grad school), I seemed to have learned or accepted the fact that the practice of Medicine is important, is noble, is sacrifice, is a true and real way to serve people. It was a dark lesson for one who is not, by nature, generous. And I find myself already worrying about various patients, and I haven't even left yet. Nothing in life is ever simple and straightforward. Nothing. I want, more than anything, the time away to work on my work, and yet, even in that moment of desire, I feel guilty. I know my partner will take care of clinic, will take good care of my patients, but I know I am going to worry. And I know I am going to feel guilty. I already do.

Yes!

I just can't wait! Yup, it returns...

800

The Matthew Shepherd Hate Crimes bill finally passed (in the form of the Kennedy Amendment). Yes, sadly, it had to be done as an amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2008. Our president had stated he would veto the Shepherd bill would it reach his desk. The question now is whether he will still do that now that it is an amendment to the bill that authorizes money for the military and its exorbitant budget. Thank you Democrats and open-minded Republicans. And thank God there is no line-item veto.

Want to know who voted how. Check out the roll call here. Notice the one abstention? Yup, Senator McCain.


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I really am not going to know what to do with myself in a few days. With the exception of my honeymoon in 2006, I haven't been away from the practice of medicine for longer than 5 or 6 days. The idea I am about to have two whole weeks to work on poetry-related stuff is almost too incredible for me to believe!


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You thought Richard Wilbur was old, well think again!


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Clue: The Met


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6 Snippets & a Cocktail

David Plotz's "How to Become a Macarthur Genius." Hilarious!


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Who knew the PSA had such drama? (may require registration)


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Not quite done with errands, but I am hoping to get out of clinic early today to try to finish up. We'll see. I am alone in clinic today for most of the day.


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Well this is certainly an interesting article about Disneyland...


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I just discovered that a friend of mine overlaps with me at Yaddo.


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Sorry. Have to run. Need to be at the hospital early today.


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Clue: Moonlight Cocktail


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Preparing for a Kind of Deja Vu

Much too much to get done today, but I have written up a list and am just going to go through it one by one getting things done and checking them off. Today is the only day open I have before leaving for New York. So, laundry, packing, payroll, errands, etc. must be done today. Annoying, but also kind of exciting.


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Between October 1st and 14th, this blog will be dark. Well, kind of... No new entries will be posted here, but there will be a kind of retrospective. Various friends have already made requests, so various posts from the past two-and-a-half years will be posted here daily. For those who have visited from the get go, it will be a kind of deja vu. For those who haven't encountered them yet, they may seem new. So, if you have any requests for specific posts over the years, for whatever reason, let me know. Various folks have already suggested 8 different posts to me they liked, or thought funny, or thought odd, or whatever.


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I have WC Williams in my head this morning. In a strange way, Williams is how I found my way to writing poems. A young Art student went to work in the art department of a magazine. Most of the folks at that magazine were involved in literature and cared little for paintings and other visual art. Most of the discussions were about books, poems. I found there, on the conference room table, a copy of Spring and All. This Art student began reading it and found it unlike many poems he had read before. The poems were visual, image-specific the way paintings could be. This fascinated him. Within 6 months, he would leave Art and take a poetry workshop. That Art student was me. The most ironic thing, I had no idea Williams was a physician! I discovered this much later when I became interested in Williams the man as opposed to Williams the poems. So, in no minor way, WC Williams changed not only my college major, but changed the direction of my life. Weird how life's pathways hinge on such small things.


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I found my da Vinci book. It was in my studio all along.


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Still not sleeping much. But slept more last night than previous nights. Must stay away from caffeine right now.


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Clue: The Spheres


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More Geniuses

The John D. and Catherine T. Macarthur Foundation has named its new batch of Fellows, aka the "genius grants."


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Reached in Chicago, Dybek said he had no inkling that he would receive the award before being contacted this week by a representative of the MacArthur Foundation.

"I took the call on my cell phone and checked the number to see if it was a friend who was playing a practical joke," he said. "I even called the number back just to make sure."


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Jacob made it home safely. How did we celebrate his return? Chinese food and champagne. An unlikely combo that was kind of tasty.


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I know this will sound strange, but remember I have never taken a train in this country... Does Amtrak check luggage?


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I dreamt last night that I arrived at Yaddo and the people in the office told me I missed my residency, that I was supposed to be there the previous two weeks.


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Clue: Licorice slut


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On the Upswing

I know I am approaching my more manic phase because I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. I think I might have gotten 2 hours of sleep max. I found myself lying there thinking about things and watching the clock. It was so irritating. I kept trying to relax my mind, but it was too stubborn. And clinic today has been a total bear so far. But I am not tired. At this time, I am never tired. Just have to get through the next few days and I will start my way toward the middle again. I am used to this. At least I should be by now.


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Jacob comes home tonight. Yay!!


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I have been re-reading Nicanor Parra's Antipoemas. God I love those. I still remember first finding them in the stacks in the Latin American library at the University of Florida. I had never heard of him or his work. But I loved it. Still do.


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I didn't find this very surprising. I mean, who wouldn't want two moms! Oh, but that would mean having two moms. Okay, terrible idea...


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All of a sudden, overnight, no one is doing Pilates anymore. Thank God.


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Clue: Exoskeleton


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Seductions

I had dinner with my friend Ron last night, and he mentioned to me that Mark Bibbins has new poems in the new issue of MiPo. I came home last night and read them, and in an instant, I was reminded why I have always loved Bibbins' work. His poems move with the kind of logic I understand; there are surprises and an odd form of honesty in his poems. They seduce you. And by reading the poems in MiPo, I discovered he has a new book forthcoming from Copper Canyon. This makes me very happy.


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Robert Pinsky features a poem by Cate Marvin this week at the Washington Post.


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I got an acceptance by email yesterday, which was kind of weird. I didn't know this magazine accepted work by email, but I guess it is easier that way. Maybe more and more print magazines are sending responses by email?


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Got the October issue of POETRY yesterday. Ange Mlinko has a good omnibus review in the back. That is all I read. Will read the poems soon, I think. Before that, I need to read poems for NER.


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I cannot find Koch's One Train, and I know it is not missing because I re-read it recently because one of my students was reading it. So, I know it must be here, but in the disaster of my studio, I am at a loss. What is on my desk right now? Well:

Digital camera, calculator, Paul Guest's new book, a fedex airbill, postage scale, an old issue of BLOOM, the current RAIN TAXI, an old American Express bill, 5 fountain pens, 2 gel roller ball pens, a sharpie, stamps, all 4 drafts of a recent poem, an MGM-Mirage Players Club card, Plath's The Colossus, a copy of the poem "Skunk Hour", Debussy's "Clair de Lune" I burned on to a disc, Rodney Koeneke's Rouge State, mini-stapler, printouts from the receivables ledger for my practice, an index card with the word "dark" circled and with a line through it, etc. etc. What is on YOUR desk?


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Clue: That kat was fast as lightning...


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One or Two Unprintable Things

Wow! I had no idea they were related... Anyhoo, some things run in the blood.


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It is hard to believe that a week from now I will be in NYC preparing to head off to Saratoga Springs. I can't really remember the last time I so looked forward to two weeks of time. I have so much to do here before I leave: in clinic, at home, etc. I am so grateful to the folks at Yaddo for giving me this time. I cannot say thank you enough. Two weeks time away from clinic and administering the practice and editing and teaching and board meetings and letter writing. And this blog will be dark. I may have someone post interesting old posts, but there won't be any new posts during October 1st through 14th. I will be sequestered in Saratoga Springs looking at what I have written since 2001 when I finished The Second Person. I am pretty sure I have written about 30 poems since 2001. I just need to sit down with them and the poems written before 2001 that have not been collected in a book to see if something looking like a new manuscript is there. I am hopeful there is the skeleton of a manuscript there. Once I have the skeletal framework, I will be able to work piecemeal on it and hopefully get it done by 2009-2010. I am just grateful for the chunk of time to get the framework in order (if one is there to set out). I haven't been able to do that so far with the short bursts of time I get to do such things in my everyday life.


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Paul Guest is up on Poetry Daily today. Wonderful poem.


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The Washington State Book Awards have been announced. Congratulations to my fellow Warren Wilson faculty member, Charles D'Ambrosio!


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Tony Tost's second book, Complex Sleep, is out now from Iowa. This book, more so than his first, holds a kind of wisdom in its utterances. A challenging and worthwhile read.


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A friend of mine recently pronounced that Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach" is the most emulated, imitated, emasculated, defenestrated... poem in the English language. I laughed and thought such a statement preposterous. And then, last night, while leafing through Anthony Hecht's The Hard Hours I found this poem:


THE DOVER BITCH A Criticism of Life: for Andrews Wanning


So there stood Matthew Arnold and this girl
With the cliffs of England crumbling away behind them,
And he said to her, "Try to be true to me,
And I'll do the same for you, for things are bad
All over, etc., etc."
Well now, I knew this girl. It's true she had read
Sophocles in a fairly good translation
And caught that bitter allusion to the sea,
But all the time he was talking she had in mind
The notion of what his whiskers would feel like
On the back of her neck. She told me later on
That after a while she got to looking out
At the lights across the channel, and really felt sad,
Thinking of all the wine and enormous beds
And blandishments in French and the perfumes.
And then she got really angry. To have been brought
All the way down from London, and then be addressed
As a sort of mournful cosmic last resort
Is really tough on a girl, and she was pretty.
Anyway, she watched him pace the room
And finger his watch-chain and seem to sweat a bit,
And then she said one or two unprintable things.
But you mustn't judge her by that. What I mean to say is,
She's really all right. I still see her once in a while
And she always treats me right. We have a drink
And I give her a good time, and perhaps it's a year
Before I see her again, but there she is,
Running to fat, but dependable as they come.
And sometimes I bring her a bottle of Nuit d' Amour.


--Anthony Hecht


Maybe my friend is right? There probably are other poems that respond to, make fun of, vary, or retell Arnold's odd poem. They just don't come to mind. Part of me wants to believe that Yeats' "Leda and the Swan" is the poem most imitated, mocked, etc. So many poems address that poem. Either way, it is odd to think of single poems in this way.


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Clue: Mirage


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Victor #21

And the winner of Caption Contest #21 is Daniel (from Buffalo) for:




"No matter how fast he ran, Bob could not escape the arm flourishing terror of the Celine Dion army."


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Congratulations Daniel! You win bragging rights and a $25 gift certificate to Amazon. Email me (my email is on my cdaleyoung.com website) and we will set that up.


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Runner-up: James Hall for "Andre's still exclaiming that age old question: 'Where the HELL is my chiffon!'"


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Until next time, we at the Muse thank you all for playing.


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Rickets

Jacob should have the winner of Caption Contest #21 by the end of the day. If you haven't entered, now would be the time. There are less entries than there usually are, so your odds are better, in effect.


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If as a kid anyone had told me we would gladly pay for individual bottles of water, I would have laughed. Hello? Water is now sold in coke machines.


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Is it 6 pm yet? Gag! It isn't. Whole day still ahead of me...


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Clue: "I'm the white rabbit!"


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In the Court of the Medici

Well, how Christian of them. This theatre spent $90,000. on a full-page ad to denounce Kathy Griffin. If they really wanted to be Christian, they should have donated that 90K to a homeless shelter!


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I have a dinner-meeting tonight. Lots of handshaking and smiling. Lots of looking interested. The things one has to do when you own a business. Like listening to some business-y type drone on about interest rates!


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Still cannot find my da Vinci book. Annoying. And I know it couldn't have been in the famously lost box of poetry books SAL-SCH (how I lost books by Schneiderman and Salter and Schuyler). Well, I replaced most of those books, but I don't think I can replace the da Vinci. I found it at a Friends of the Library sale. It is long out of print, as in 100 years out of print!


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This is my new obsession. I want this pen so badly. It is almost a sickness. This is the Limited edition S.T. Dupont Orpheo Medici fountain pen. Dupont pens are among the smoothest writing fountain pens ever made, and they deploy even thick colored inks flawlessly. They are dream pens. I have a hand-casted Orpheo Vertigo pen, done in red-Chinese lacquer, and it is an amazing pen. I mean, I love that pen. Anyway, the description of the Medici is practically pen-porn:

"The grand architectural art of the Italian Renaissance comes to full color on the Medici Limited Edition. Spectacular guilloche work in platinum places a beautiful luster and texture next to the precise application of dark green and smooth white marble colors of Chinese lacquer. The design, which is based on such spectacular buildings as the Duomo of Florence, is finished with red jasper incrustations. The Medici also features a decorated clip and an 18k gold nib with engravings."

Oh my God! I so want this pen!


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Clue: "No more yanky my wanky!"


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Submissions

"At a news conference Wednesday afternoon, the mayor abruptly reversed his public opposition to gay marriage, revealing his adult daughter is a lesbian. Choking back tears, with his wife by his side, he said he could not veto the measure, which was passed Tuesday night by the city council."

"Sanders said, 'I just could not bring myself to tell an entire group of our community they were less important, less worthy or less deserving of the rights and responsibilities of marriage than anyone else, simply because of their sexual orientation.'"


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In a bit of a shocker: After 20 years in the position, Alice Quinn steps down as Poetry Editor of The New Yorker. (may need registration to view)


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Speaking of submissions, they are pouring in at NER. I begin seriously reading submissions this weekend once my first batches arrive.


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So far, only 12 entries are in for the Caption Contest. There is still time before Jacob makes his decision, but not that much time. Remember, winner gets bragging rights and may receive a prize worth $25.


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I am still disgusted by this. Whatever happened to just dragging someone outside and telling them to leave? There were four of them. They could have just picked him up. They practically did. I have two degrees from the University of Florida, and I taught there for two years. And I am ashamed of this. Campus Police maintain safety on campus, but I don't see how this guy was endangering anyone. Here is the video, if you haven't already seen it:




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Clue: Viognier


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The Code

I knew this would happen... Knew it!


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Grading: Done
Errands: Done
Reading: Done


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I cannot find my illustrated history of Leonardo da Vinci. This is weird. I cannot remember now the last time I picked it up.












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FROM THE ACADEMY OF AMERICAN POETS: Poet James McMichael has been selected as the recipient of the 2007 Academy Fellowship, given by the Academy of American Poets in memory of James Ingram Merrill. The Academy Fellowship is awarded once a year to a poet for distinguished poetic achievement at mid-career and provides a stipend of $25,000.


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Clue: Make it so...


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Props to the Haiku

Jeffery Bahr does it again. Once again, he boils down the BAP series in ways one could never expect. He also has this breakdown of literary journals with relation to BAP.


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And just in case you had forgotten how funny BAP could be...


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Never underestimate the Haiku.


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You haven't entered the latest caption contest yet? Well, what are you waiting for? Scroll down and enter. You could win a cash prize and/or bragging rights. What's stopping ya?


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Today is a day of errands, grading, grading, grading, and some more errands.


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Clue: "The French call that a bidet..."


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Caption Contest #21

Awwww yeah! It is definitely that time. For some, you have been waiting patiently. For others, you hoped it would never ever happen again. But yes, it is time for the caption contest once more. For those who are new here, the winner gets bragging rights and may or may not win a surprise monetary prize (already decided by us here at The Muse before posting this). Captions should be left in the comment section below, and the winner will be selected by our resident judge, Jacob. Jacob may be in Colorado, but his decisions are still final.

Winners of the Caption Contest this year so far are:

#12 : Justin Evans

#13 : Anne Haines

#14 : ADT

#15: Joseph Massey

#16 : Eddie Dixon

#17 : John Gallaher

#18 : R.J. Gibson

#19 : Simmons Buntin

#20 : Collin Kelley


So far this year, no one has taken a win twice! This will make for a VERY interesting "End of the Year Caption Contest Showdown." Will YOUR name be added to this list? Will you show us how it's done? Give us your captions, and tune in to see what happens.


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Let the games begin...


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In the Air

Last night was definitely one of those nights where I realized I need to trim certain things out of my life. As I sat through a Board of Directors meeting for a medical organization, I realized wholeheartedly that I have to learn to say NO. It is incredibly unlikely that I am the only one who could be serving the medical community this way. And then I thought about it. I sit on 7 different Boards. Seven! And only one of them is somewhat literary. Six are all about medicine. Why is this? Because I need to learn to say NO. I have got to say NO more often. I am a good juggler, but lately I am having difficulties keeping all of the "objects" in the air. I cannot throw medicine out of the picture. And I cannot throw writing poems out either. But a lot of these other things I do, these various responsibilities, need to be trimmed down. If I continue to take things on the way I have over the past decade, I really may never have the opportunity to write poems. Yes, I can write poems given even 5 mins a day, the physical act. But I need time to think, to turn things over, to connect and tear ideas apart in order to get to the poem itself. In the last week, I have said NO to 4 different things. It feels good. Now to start paring down as opposed to just not taking more on.


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You all know what's coming, don't you? Don't you?


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John Findura reviews The Second Person in the latest issue of Rain Taxi.


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Um, one of the things about keeping a blog is the fact your timeline become searchable. By this I mean, here is a post from two years ago this week. Clearly, I didn't learn a damn thing in two years seeing I am doing more today than then! Jesus. No seriously, this only spurs me to pare it down more.


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Clue: Marvelous Marvin Hagler


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A New Sensation Is Born

In case you haven't yet seen this video from Chris Crocker, here it is. Yes, this is the "Leave Britney Alone" video, put up on YouTube by Internet sensation, Chris Crocker. Personally, I find it to be a masterly case of performance art. Others don't quite see it that way. I found it hilarious. Anyway, here is the video (lots of expletives, so not safe for work):




And so, of course, this video ran and within 24 hours had been watched over 2 million times. Yes, you read correctly, over 2 million times! So, news media started to cover the video and the artist named Chris Crocker. Our friends at Fox News spent a portion of their coverage basically criticizing Crocker for being effiminate and gay. So, in true Chris Crocker spirit, here is his rebuttal:



I wish I were surprised by Fox News' take. But I am not. I am, however, now a fan of Chris Crocker. You go gurl. You tell it like it is.

(thanks to RJ Gibson, who first introduced me to the first video)

Lullabies

In case you missed them, here is a list of folks who won Emmy Awards. Amazing how few of these shows I have ever watched. (may require registration)


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New Issues has a new Editor.


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Quite a number of books coming out this Fall. At least it seems that way. Here is Oliver de la Paz's latest book, just out from Crab Orchard/SIU:





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The Poetry Foundation's blog has changed a lot over the past two months. Besides adding Ange Mlinko as one of their bloggers, they have also added Rigoberto Gonzales and, more recently, Stephen Burt, Christian Bok, and A.E. Stallings. The conversations over there seem to be changing. Change is good, no?


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Heather McHugh, who else?


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I believe today is the day I get my first batches of submissions for NER from Middlebury. The editing work will kick in to full swing shortly. But I am ready. I also have to keep in mind I need to read a lot before leaving for Saratoga Springs and must be prepared to read a lot when I get back. I am hoping the fact we have stopped taking simultaneous submissions will curb the number of submissions a little bit. This is especially true since we lost one of our long-time readers, Major Jackson, who is off now as the Poetry Editor of Harvard Review. And David Roderick, another one of my readers will be off to do the Amy Lowell Travelling Scholarship in January. So, there will be a lot of reading to do. Thankfully, I still have two readers to help me through the submissions.


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Clue: Simon Le Bon


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The Grass Withereth

Jacob is off in Leadville, CO. And I am wandering around the house doing errands. Last night, I met a friend for dinner at Le Colonial. I had forgotten how good their French Vietnamese food was! But maybe anything tastes good with a bottle of Moet & Chandon Brut Imperial Rose champagne...


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"Denn alles Fleisch ist wie Gras und alle Herrlichkeit des Menschen wie des Grases Blumen. Das Gras ist verdorret und die Blume abgefallen."

Not sure yet, but this snippet from Peter used in Brahms' Ein deutsches Requiem has some relation to something I am doing. Poem? Book? Not sure yet. But these two sentences keep coming back to me, mostly with Brahms' music but also sometimes by themselves. We'll see.


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Oh, the translation is: "For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away."

1 Peter 1:24


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It is very hard to believe it has been 25 years since Mark Strand's Selected Poems came out. That book was my introduction to Strand, who remains for me an enigma of style. I relish his poems, but can never fully place my finger on what exactly he is doing. Whether it is his minimalist nods to the surreal, or a more discursive line in his middle years, or the more oracular voice of the later poems, Mark Strand confuses me. But clearly he does so in a good way because I keep going back. I never have doubts that the poems know what they are doing. I just don't always expect the poems to go where they go. It is all very personal. See? This is why I don't write reviews... Anyway, there is a New Selected Poems out now, which adds selections from the books he has published over the past 25 years. This should be a book most should have in their libraries.


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Almost finished with Paul's new book. A beautiful book so far.


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Clue: Desdemona


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Double!

Still having a lot of pain in my right neck and shoulder. Had to start meds. I don't like taking meds. I am a very typical doctor: a terrible patient. Going in to see my therapist tomorrow to see if he can work out the knots and swelling in the band of muscle. Praying to God he can!


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Jacob leaves tomorrow for a week. Gag! And so, I will be reading this over the weekend. I can't wait.











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What are you reading?


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Clue: Thin crust!


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Virgin, Again

Another reason to love Virgin America. I am making my first Virgin America flight at the end of this month. My curiosity is killing me.


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Clue: Prednisone!


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To Be Soft

Although here in the United States we continue to make a mountain out of the molehill called same-sex marriage, the rest of the world keeps moving forward. Same-sex marriage is legal in Belgium, The Netherlands, Canada, South Africa, and Spain. Spain! Spain is one of the most Catholic countries in the world, and it has same-sex marriage rights intact. The following countries have civil unions that offer most of the same legal rights as marriage: Andorra, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Slovenia, Sweden, Switzerland, Tasmania, United Kingdom. And many of these countries offering civil unions are in the process of scrapping them for outright marriage rights. Why? Because civil unions didn't change anything in their countries. People who oppose same-sex marriage are always going on and on about how same-sex marriage will ruin the institution of marriage, will lead to less stability in the home, etc. etc. Funny that Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the entire US. Anyway, while we continue to "discuss" same-sex marriage, while we continue to spend millions of dollars a year in trying to pass or prevent it (instead of spending that money on something else like, say, global warming), Canada is already presenting its first census data that included same-sex couples, married and unmarried. The data is a little surprising, no?


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Have to take in my car this morning to be serviced (check the alignment after the tire blowout). Then I have to grade/respond to one of my students.


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This poem by Bob Hicok knocked the wind out of me. (via Aaron Smith)


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Clue: The after-before


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Different Scenery

We drove from North Shore around the Lake, through Stateline and into California. We made our way down the long and winding highway, the Sierras and all of their alpine greenery as our entertainment. It was so beautiful and slow. Normally, we take 80, but we went the longer, slower way for a change and to see different scenery. It was definitely worth it. We even made it from Fairfield into San Francisco in under 40 minutes. Miraculous.


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Amanda Auchter in the news. Fingers crossed.


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When will this wardrobe malfunction go away?


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Clue: Spice Girls


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911

Usually, I post a bunch of little snippets on this day in an attempt not to think too much about this day. But even now, after 6 years, I still cannot really talk about it. My heart goes out to everyone today. It has never stopped going out since that day. Grief changes with time. It doesn't ever disappear. I am still angry about that day and its losses, but I am also thankful for what and who I have in the world today. Very thankful.

Again, the Coins

Congratulations to Brenda Shaughnessy! She is this year's winner of the James Laughlin Award given by the Academy of American Poets. The Academy's Press Report states:

"The Academy of American Poets is pleased to announce that Brenda Shaughnessy's collection Human Dark with Sugar (Copper Canyon Press) has been chosen by poets Peter Gizzi, Matthea Harvey, and Caroline Knox to receive the 2007 James Laughlin Award, which gives $5,000 to the most outstanding second book by an American poet published in the previous year."

I am pretty sure the press release is wrong on one count. That book is due out from Copper Canyon next year and was not published last year! And the guidelines for the Laughlin allow publishers to enter book mss. BEFORE they are published as books. Anyway, congratulations Brenda!


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Jacob and I sat in Adirondack chairs at the end of a floating dock yesterday drinking cocktails and watching the dark, charcoal colored clouds over the south end of the lake. It was high drama, this nature, and we watched it like it were a movie, a famous movie.


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"Two New York men are suing their alma mater over an announcement in the school's newsletter stating that they were "life partners" who had been married."

I don't even know where to start with this article. I mean, who reads the American University alumni magazine, much less their class notes section? And don't you just love the New York Post's headline?


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I dreamt again, last night, the dream of the coins. I am sitting by a bridge when all of a sudden gold coins begin flying out of my mouth. Close to one hundred of them flying out and spinning through the air, swarming like bees. I still have no idea what this dream means.


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Clue: "I hope y'all ready for me to make you some money!"


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Frameworks

So between 8:20 AM yesterday morning and 11:00 AM, I did 32 prostate exams. The Prostate Cancer Screening event was a good one. September is Prostate Cancer Awareness month. This was the third time I volunteered to help with the program. And again, I was amazed at how many people in good jobs have little to no insurance at all, who never see the doctor, who cannot afford to see the doctor. Our medical system, or better yet our insurance system, is messed up. After the screening program, I drove up to the North Shore of Lake Tahoe with Jacob. He has a meeting up here. All I have is husbandly appearances and lounging about.



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On the drive up here, we listened to the majestic Cello Concerto by Dvorak. What an incredible piece of music that is. We also listened to Philip Glass's String Quartets. The Kronos Quartet performed and recorded several of them. They were incredible too, but not majestic. They were haunting at times, tentative, filled with a kind of doubt and heartbreak. We also listened to "Rhapsody for Cello and Orchestra" by Bertrand. Yes, my Bertrand, as in Jacob Bertrand. Also listened to his Piano Trio and his String Quartet. Climbing into the Sierras with so much good music playing was like a little piece of heaven.


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I think I have written about 30 poems since I finished my second book's ms. in early 2001. In fact, I am pretty sure of this. 4 poems a year except for last year with its record ten poems. Last year was sick. So, I am excited to go away in October and have some time to sit down and really figure out what I have. I wish I were a poet who could imagine a book and its arc (or arcs) and just write the book. But I am too hyper of mind. I would never be able to sustain it. So, I make books in a kind of reverse fashion. I write a bunch of poems then sit down with them. Some coalesce. Others don't. Some will be deemed unworthy and filed away or dumped. If I have enough poems that fit together (likely because I am repetitive and obsessive), then I can start trying to develop a scheme, a framework for the poems to make a book. It is then I can see the (w)holes, what has to be filled in, what has to be remodeled, etc. This is why having a ms. is only a starting point for me in making a book. The first draft of the ms. is usually woefully incomplete and underdeveloped. It then takes me sometimes 3 years or more to reach the state where the ms. is a ms. I could actually show to someone or send to my publisher. So, I am hopeful for October, hopeful after my time away I will have the skeleton of a new book to work on over the next few years.


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I find myself re-reading architecture books lately. I read them without really knowing what the hell they are talking about. Osmosis. That is my excuse.


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Clue: Yohimbine


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The Roman Forum

Here is the latest rendering of the new WTC complex. Not sure what to make of this. Might never know what to make of this.


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Virginia Quarterly Review (VQR) is the latest to move to on-line submissions, with their own in-house developed system no less.


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Maria Hummel discusses Dickey's "The Sheep Child."


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The world continues to mourn the passing of one of the greatest voices in Opera.


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Received a surprise day off today from clinic. So, I am getting errands done since Jacob and I are off to Tahoe tomorrow after I volunteer at the Prostate Cancer screening clinic in the morning. We are so not driving my car into the mountains. We are taking Jacob's car. And I am looking forward to relaxing lakeside now more than ever.


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Woke up this morning with Plath's "The Colossus" in my head. Odd. Very odd.


THE COLOSSUS


I shall never get you put together entirely,
Pieced, glued, and properly jointed.
Mule-bray, pig-grunt and bawdy cackles
Proceed from your great lips.
It's worse than a barnyard.

Perhaps you consider yourself an oracle,
Mouthpiece of the dead, or of some god or other.
Thirty years now I have labored
To dredge the silt from your throat.
I am none the wiser.

Scaling little ladders with glue pots and pails of Lysol
I crawl like an ant in mourning
Over the weedy acres of your brow
To mend the immense skull-plates and clear
The bald, white tumuli of your eyes.

A blue sky out of the Oresteia
Arches above us. O father, all by yourself
You are pithy and historical as the Roman Forum.
I open my lunch on a hill of black cypress.
Your fluted bones and acanthine hair are littered

In their old anarchy to the horizon-line.
It would take more than a lightning-stroke
To create such a ruin.
Nights, I squat in the cornucopia
Of your left ear, out of the wind,

Counting the red stars and those of plum-color.
The sun rises under the pillar of your tongue.
My hours are married to shadow.
No longer do I listen for the scrape of a keel
On the blank stones of the landing.


--Sylvia Plath



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Clue: I'll be back


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Not Afraid

The Great Maestro, Luciano Pavarotti, has died. (may need registration)


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Another one joins the Fray. Jesus.


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My partner returns from vacation to clinic today. Thank God.


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One of the reasons why I think Burning Man is a version of Hell.


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Clue: You will be. You will be!


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Correction

Correction to earlier post:

DeWitt Henry is the interim Editor of Ploughshares. John Skoyles is their new Poetry Editor, and Margot Livesey is their new Fiction Editor. Welcome back, DeWitt!

Prescriptions

Have you read this book yet? Well, if you haven't, you should...



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I finally had a chance to call the Service Center to report the blow-out. They already put me on the books for next Wednesday to check the alignment, etc. The phone call was pretty bizarre. The agent kept forgetting my name, so I had to repeat my last and first name something like 5 times. And then he kept forgetting the model of the car. It was as if he were asleep.


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Thanks to all who sent me emails and posted comments. And yes, I do feel lucky. But I also just feel freaked out. Today was one of those days where it was hard to put a smile on and be a doctor. I just kind of wanted to go home. But I stayed. I did my job. I answered questions, examined people, wrote prescriptions, signed forms, did follow-up visits, and consultations, and radiation treatment planning. No one at work had any idea what happened. I made certain of that. I certainly would never let one of my patients know. They have enough to think about, and reminders of mortality aren't so good for them.


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Clue: Daisy Chain


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34 Seconds

I am still a little freaked out. But yesterday, driving home, north on Hwy 280, in the fast lane, going 74 mph, my back left tire blew out, exploded, smoke flying everywhere. And just as my mind perceived what had happened, I also perceived that my car was careening across the highway, from fast lane toward slow lane, across 4 lanes of traffic! Cars were whizzing by. I remembered the premonition day dream I have all the time of how I die in a car. I regained control of the car in the slow lane and pulled over. The back tire was in shreds. My heart was racing. There was the terrible smell of burning rubber. Somehow, impossible as it seems to me, my car careened across 4 lanes of a busy interstate, one known for people driving fast, without a scratch. Without a scratch! My car didn't hit (or was hit by) a single car despite the whole mis-adventure happening in under one minute. I called ___ Roadside Assistance. They sent out a guy to replace the tire. My car has tires that are "locked" to prevent folks from stealing them. The 24 hour nationwide assistance came with the car when I got it. I never thought I would need it. Now I have to call the service center about checking the alignment, etc. I drove home last night on the new tire thinking over and over: Today could have been the day. It could have been over in under a minute.


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Clue: I'm the white rabbit...


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Snippet

John Skoyles is rumored to be the new Editor of Ploughshares. I have no idea if this is interim or not, but Don Lee has stepped down to take a faculty position at Macalester College.


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Now, even Jerry Lewis. Yup, like I recently said. I mean, can you imagine the uproar if Lewis had said the N word?


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Is it Friday yet?


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Clue: John Simon


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Ribbons, Tied

This is one of the more ridiculous "studies" I have ever heard of... I mean, in the world of science, this would be ridiculed. And I am, in fact, ridiculing it! Whatever.


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Thom Gunn has a poem up on Poetry Daily today. The poem is from one of the most important books of poetry examining gay life and, specifically, AIDS. That book is the heart and soul crushing The Man with Night Sweats, recently re-released by FSG. Everyone should have to read this book. It is one of the most moving responses to the AIDS-epidemic out there.


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Still alone in clinic until Thursday. Gag! But now all I can think about is Saturday and heading up to Lake Tahoe. Jacob has a meeting up there, but I am heading along.


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"With so many poetry destinations online, it can be tough to know where to start. With the help of fifteen poets, Jessica Winter helps untangle the web." (from the Poetry Foundation)


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Thinking again today about poems by Marvell. This is odd seeing I don't usually turn to Marvell in this way. I would normally turn to another poet I won't name here when thinking about contradiction and self-contradiction.


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Thanks to Jacob I have parts of Dvorak's cello concerto in my head!


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Clue: Malice


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New Blogger in the Neighborhood

The Poetry Foundation's blog has a new member, Rigoberto Gonzalez. Here is his first post over at Harriet. And here is his great second post. I am glad to see Rigoberto at Harriet, and I eagerly await his new posts. Check them out. You'll be glad you did.


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Pull It Sir

So, I finally got a hundred responses. And here are the results:

Poetry Prestige

Which of the following contests is considered the most prestigious for Poetry?

Total Votes: 100

National Book Award: 10 vote(s)

Pulitzer Prize: 71 vote(s)

National Book Critics Circle Award: 5 vote(s)

LA Times Book Award: 0 vote(s)

All bestow prestige on its winners: 7 vote(s)

None of them confer much to their winners: 7 vote(s)


I have to say I AM a little surprised by this. I kind of thought they would come out more evenly weighted, but with 71% of respondents picking the Pulitzer, I have little to say. Kind of odd. Anyhoo, I guess the comments I heard recently that prompted this poll are right, to some extent.

Labor

Okay, okay. A few folks have asked me about poetry in the forthcoming NER. And if that will help convince a few of you to subscribe and try us out, then so be it. In the upcoming 4th issue of the year, due out in late October/early November, we will have poems by Todd Boss, Gabrielle Calvocoressi, Hugh Coyle, Jordan Davis, Jennifer Grotz, Rachel Hadas, Jeff Mock, D.A. Powell, Valerie Wohlfeld, Kevin Young, and others. So, check out the post below and, if it sounds interesting, try us out. You can even get a year for $20 instead of $25. That is a deal, folks. A deal. And don't forget NER has tons of great non-fiction and fiction as well. (At this point the music from Carnivale kicks in, and the tent doors start flapping, and the wind starts to move wind chimes, and you feel compelled to ...)


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Spent yesterday getting errands done and doing some literary work. It was nice to leisurely get things done.


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I am kind of still walking on cloud nine after drafting my third poem of the year. It is definitely a sister poem to one I wrote last year. At least I think it is. I am such a neurotic, obsessive-compulsive poet. I return to things over and over. So, it isn't hard for me to write a sister poem to anything, even without trying.


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Jacob has been working on a piece for Harp and Solo Soprano. It is beautiful and haunting. I listened to it yesterday. I was in awe, again, of the fact I am married to this man.


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Clue: Laboratory


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How Far, Indeed

Poem Number Three arrived yesterday. So weird that for the first 7 months of the year I wrote nothing but in the last 6 weeks I have drafted 3 poems. Hey, I'll take them anyway I can.


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Robert Pinsky shares a poem by James Hoch this week in the Washington Post Book World.


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Christian Wiman's long-awaited book of essays is finally out. Originally to be published by Zoo Press (well, we know what happened there), it is out now from Copper Canyon. This is a book of essays worth checking out. Chris has been writing reviews and essays long before becoming Editor of POETRY. And he is a very good prose stylist. So, again, definitely worth checking out.



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If you haven't taken the latest poll, please do. I am hoping to get at least 100 responses, even though it looks as if the question has already been answered pretty clearly already. I am re-posting the poll here:

Poetry Prestige

The Big Four has long been considered the National Book Award, the Pulitzer, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and the LA Times Book Award.

Which of the following contests is considered the most prestigious for Poetry?

National Book Award
Pulitzer Prize
National Book Critics Circle Award
LA Times Book Award
All bestow prestige on its winners
None of them confer much to their winners

View Results

Create your own myspace poll


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"How far should poets go to meet their readers? The question has been debated for the best part of a century, ever since Eliot, Pound and the First World War between them upset the comfortable consensus of the long Edwardian summer."


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Clue: Sonoma


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