Monday, May 28, 2012

And so it ends...

"So, some of my friends will no doubt ask why am I writing a blog. Well, one of my New Year's resolutions is to do some new things, things people wouldn't especially expect me to do. So, why not?"

(the very first post on January 1, 2005 at this blog)


Some of the very first people to comment here were Paul Guest and Eduardo C. Corral.  I created this blog at first out of a desire to do something new.  I have continued it out of a sense of obligation.  This is a fault of mine that can be seen throughout my life.  I keep going.  I keep going long after I should stop.

The funny thing is I started this because at the time it was something almost no one would have expected from me.  But now, this very thing has become an expectation.  People actually now expect me to blog.

But things have changed.  What used to be a fun way to find community and build on it has grown into a chore.  Part of the reason it has become a space for news is that it is less taxing for me.  But much has changed since I first came here to this space.

I now keep up with friends via other outlets.  And those friends mostly keep up with me via those other outlets.  I was going to wait until the last day of this month, but I decided that it isn't even necessary to do that, just another one of my OCD things to finish out on the last day of a month.

I already struggle with time to write, and that hasn't changed.  Hell, it was the source of the name for this space.  But in this year where I am fortunate to receive monetary support to continue the writing I have been doing, I am faced with the fact that a big organization has faith in me and my writing, and I owe it to them and myself to really try to focus on that.  There have been times when I have been away or too busy to post, and the funny thing is I didn't miss it.  So, in this year of changes (and there are more to come), I now bid adieu.  I hear the voice of Steve Orlen in my head from three years ago saying there will come a time when you will need to give it up.  He was talking about this blog.  And he was wise to know this.  I think the time came at the end of 2010, but like I said, I tend to not give things up.

To all the friends I have made in this space, I am grateful to you.  But now, it really is time for me to shut this down.  Since January 1st of 2005, I have posted 3,454 posts here.  That astounds me.  I have learned much in my time here, but the time has come... not for me to lip synch for my life, but to return to the work that brought me here in the first place.

With gratitude to all who have stopped by for all these years,

C. Dale